serious thought...

My life is not perfect. I have never pretended that it is. The past two months of my life have been filled with sickness, sadness, drama, wonder, and love. They have also made me sit down and have a serious talk with myself. I am sick of sickness, sadness and drama. There is nothing I can do about the first two, sometimes they just happen. I can just take care of my own health, which after Scouten's birth, I have seriously slacked on. I don't know why mother's feel so guilty about being away from their children - when they are taking care of themselves. I schedule doctors appointments, workouts (there have been a few), and pedicures (serious ME time) around her, when I should realize that time I am taking for myself may guarantee that I am with her more in the long run. Then again, the cement truck may hit me tomorrow, there are no guarantees.

Speaking of health, lack of guarantees, and drama, I have decided that I am going to go on a new-fangled diet - one of my own making. Oh yeah, that's right! I'm going on a drama-diet. I am sick of other people's drama making my blood pressure rise. I am just not going to participate, instead I am going to try to be a positive person and spend as much time with the people that inspire me, love me, and entertain me. My husband and daughter are the two who most definately fit those criteria.

I have also been thinking about the kind of woman that I want Scouten to grow up to be. I want her to be nurtured, strong, opinionated, and able to express her emotions - whether they be love, loss, or wonder. I also want her to be healthy. I was a little embarassed at first, but I make all her food - I am no longer embarassed, she's MY DAUGHTER, I want her to be healthy!

Not only do I want great things for my precious girl, I would also like her to learn these great things from her two biggest fans - her mother and father.