helpless

Over the past 24-hours I've been looking at pictures like this. Why am I looking at pictures of a pile of junk? Because this used to be the district office for Chapman Schools...which is exactly 33 miles south of my home. Yes, the same Chapman that was basically destroyed by a tornado last night.

This one picture (and literally the hundreds of others I have looked at here, here and here) conjures up about a million questions and at at least that many emotions. I know you've probably read or heard people say this, but my heart truly goes out to those people. I can not fathom loosing my home, my vehicles, my workplace, my neighborhood gathering places such as churches and schools, and my overall sense of security.

It's a pretty well-known fact that storms don't really rattle me. I blame this mostly on my parents. After all, when I was young, mom would pop-up some popcorn while dad and I loaded up the dog in the vehicle. Then we would go out and watch the storm. We were never really close to any storms (that I can remember) and I have been in the basement a FEW times. One time sticks out in particular, but that was because my niece was with us, and cried, "I want my mama!" the whole time we were in the basement. Her sister says she still does that (she's 21 now).

For some reason, this storm is more emotional for me then the others. Maybe it's because my husband's co-worker lost his house, maybe it's because of the close proximity to my own family, maybe it's because I felt (and still feel) so helpless - I can't do anything for that community, maybe I'm tired, or maybe the residents of Chapman are not the only ones that loss their sense of security.